Kids, I should probably tell you the story about how I served my MacBook it’s first cup of coffee.

It was a cold morning sometime in February. I had just gotten up from bed after a sleepless night. Everyone around me was so cheerful, wishing me Good Morning. I wished they had just shut up. Mornin’, I mumbled my reply.

Truthfully, I’m not a morning person. If I needed to wake up in the morning, it had better be a major disaster (Major Disaster - salutes) going on. Anyway. I prefer to wake up when I wake up. I’m not trying to speak in tautology, it’s just how I am.

So, I was going through my morning routine - washing up and boiling some water for a cuppa hot joe. I had this cloth - it was specially designated to wipe the dust off my MacBook, which is what I did every morning (yeah, after which I kiss it). Right, sidetracking here. I made my coffee and set it on the table next to my MacBook, where I normally place it.

While browsing the daily news, I realised that I was running out of disk space. I plugged in my external hard disk, hoping to transfer some stuff over but even that was full. I better burn some movies to DVDs, I thought. So, I walked over to my cupboard where I keep all my blank DVDs and I noticed 2 Tupperwares filled with coins. I forgot they were there.

During the first 2 or 3 years in Moscow, I idiotically collected the smallest denomination and kept them in containers. They were useless. They literally had no value. They were too heavy to carry around and I’d never use them anyway so I might as well keep them and change them in a bank someday. That turn out to be a GREAT idea. Hang on while I flush my head in the toilet.

So I noticed the 2 containers. Hey, I’d almost forgotten about them. I took them out and placed them on my table and broke them open. One was filled with 50 kopeeks. I think there was almost 500 rubles worth of coins. The other was filled with the smaller denominations  - 10, 5 and 1 kopeeks. Looking back, I wouldn’t even stop to pick these up if I saw some on the ground. But I have a box of them now. It’s ridiculous that the Russian government kept these denominations around after so much of inflation. Just abolish them, why don’t yah?

I was quietly counting my money while grumbling to my roommate about how the Russian government should just get rid of these stupid coins and save us from this misery of not knowing what to do with them. That was when I felt my elbow hit something.

It was so so surreal. A brown stream of liquid flowed all over my table and MacBook I couldn’t believe my eyes. OH FUDGE! Only, I didn’t say fudge.

FUDGE FUDGE FUDGE, FAAAAADGE. I mean. What was I supposed to do after I saw that happening? I froze for what seemed like eternity and poof. The MacBook shut down by itself…